To the Woman Mothering Without Her Mom

To the moms mothering without a mom, this is for you.

Becoming a mother is one of the most transformative experiences a woman can go through. And when you’re doing it without your own mom—whether due to loss or estrangement, there is a new type of grief that comes up. There's no one to call when the baby won't stop crying. No one to ask if you're doing it "right." You know what it’s like to love as a mother, and it hits so hard knowing you’re missing out on receiving that kind of love.

I can imagine how heartbreaking it would be to lose a mother who you loved deeply, and if that’s you, I’m sending you love. I can imagine the devastation of losing a child, and if that’s you, I am sending you love, too.

But today, I want to speak to my story. I want to talk about what it’s like to have a mom who’s alive but not in my life. The rage and shame are gone, but I’ll always wish I had a mother figure in my life. A best friend to check in with, travel with, who loved me and my kids.

I want to share my story and journey—and how I’ve navigated this with my kids—with the hope it might help some of you.

For the women mothering without a mom, this is for you.