I spent weeks looking forward to a weekend away. I’ve only traveled without my kids twice since becoming a mom, so spending a weekend at a lake house with girlfriends sounded like a dream.
The news has been heavy for a while now, but the last few weeks, it all felt like way too much. Day after day, something terrible kept happening — rights being threatened and ripped away. I found myself feeling hopeless and consumed by how awful everything seemed. It was so bad that I didn’t think I’d be able to enjoy my time away. I couldn’t think of anything else.
I found myself doom scrolling more than ever. And it’s so hard, isn’t it? It’s important that we stay informed. We do need to know what’s going on, but we’re not meant to take in all the bad things happening in the world every time we pick up our phones. It’s so easy to get lost in it, and before you know it, you’re spinning out, or worse, in a really deep hole. That was me. I know I’m not the only one.
It’s hard to stay off your phone when you do what I do. Being on Instagram is part of my job, and I need to work on having the self-control to sign on, do what I need to do, and put my phone down. But it’s turned into this hellscape that has a grip on us, and one where people feel like they can say and do the most unhinged shit, and then we’re sad. It’s a continuous shock to our systems all day long.
When I only ate four fries at dinner (and guys, I could be full and would still eat fries if they’re put in front of me) I knew I had to do something. But what?
We planned on spending the weekend at my friend’s lake house in Wisconsin, and driving into Milwaukee to see Heather McMahan. I felt so depressed that the thought of attempting to sit through stand-up, or even have a normal conversation with friends felt impossible. How could I pretend that everything’s ok? How could I have fun right now?
My husband talked me into going. I could always come home if it wasn’t working for me.
Here’s how I gave my life a reset when I was in a dark place, and how I’m choosing to find joy when things feel hard.